Smoke-Free Groundhogs

Four things happened on February 2, 1998:

1. Both Willie and Phil saw their shadows.
2. I woke with a feeling of dread.
3. I headed for the gym for my first workout.
4. I slapped on an anti-smoking patch after my workout.

Winter lasted another six weeks.

The feeling of dread lasted for a few months.

The gym lasted for about a year.

The smoking cessation lasted for 11 years -- and counting.

Oh Look, a Segue ..er.. Segway

Just before Christmas, Bear and I went to the Dominican with two other couples. While there, we took a one-hour tour on a Segway. I absolutely loved it. I took to it like a duck to water. When we first started out, they had us on "turtle" mode -- meaning it had a governor and it wouldn't let us go fast. After about five minutes, we all got off the machines and they set them to a faster mode -- but not the fastest, I'm sure.

Bear and I loved going as fast as we could make it go. But the rest of the group wasn't really into that. So, Bear and I stayed at the back and we would go very, very slow to let everyone get ahead of us and then we'd open them wide open and catch up.

On one such maneuver, I was catching up to the person ahead of me. I didn't realize how quickly I was catching up until it was too late. There are no brake lights on those things and the person ahead of me slowed down almost to the point of stopping, very quickly. That wasn't hard because she hadn't been going very fast in the first place. I, on the other hand, had been going very fast (for a Segway).

There was no way I was stopping. I tried and I slowed down considerably. And I tried to turn to pass her instead of hitting her. As a result only one of my tires hit her tire. She was fine. She only felt a little bump. Had she been moving, it might have been worse for her. Me? I was moving.

I'm not sure exactly what happened then. But it all happened very, very quickly. I know one of my feet flew off the platform. Instead of trying to put it back on, I tried to jump off. But I couldn't jump off because my leg was wedged between the inside "hump" on the platform and the wheel hub. I was completely out of control. I saw myself heading for the bushes and a ravine (about six feet deep). Suddenly, I was airborne! I flew headfirst over the handles and into the ravine. I must have summersaulted because when I can to a stop (about four feet down) my head was facing up toward the road.

As soon as I came to a stop and took a breath to assure myself that I was indeed breathing, I yelled as loud as I could "I'm okay. I'm okay." I knew Bear would be panicking and I wanted to let him know that I was at least alive. Beyond that, I had no idea.

Suddenly, a bunch of Segway guides showed up, lifted me to my feet and hoisted me out of the ravine. I was okay. Nothing broken. I had a few scrapes on my lip and chin. I had a minor cut on my hand. My leg (where it had been wedged by the wheel well) had a goose egg sized lump on it. I had a half a missing baby toe nail and I had a little cut on the top of my foot. I think I got off really lucky.

When I thought about getting back on the Segway, I was terrified. For that reason, I said "Get me back on that thing while I still can". I got on. I was shaking and I was a little bit teary. But as I got going, the fear receded and I started to enjoy myself again. I even rode one the next day without a bit of fear.

The story does not end there. Our guide was maybe 20 years old. He was very, very sweet. He kept asking if I was okay and he kept apologizing. We stopped to take some pictures and again he kept apologizing and asking if I were okay. He also got out a first aid kit and was putting anti-bacterial something or other onto a piece of cotton as I was assuring him that it was not his fault and I was okay. I held my arms wide and said "Look at me. I'm fine." He smiled and took my hand. "See" I said, "It's just a little scratch. Doesn't hurt at all." He dabbed it with the cotton. I drew my hand back quickly and screamed,

"OH MY GOD! THAT HURTS! IT BURNS!"

He was horrified. Until I started laughing. "I'm just kiddding. It's fine". Thankfully, he also had a sense of humour. He laughed as well. But I think he may have pushed just a little bit harder with the cotton after that. GRIN

So, now the scrapes and cuts on my chin, lip, hand and foot have healed. My baby toe nail is growing back. The bruises from my leg have faded to almost nothing I only have a bit of pain if I roll over on that leg, but that is fading more and more each day.

But I have some great photos and a wonderful memory of my very first Segway ride.

Here I Am

I am no longer blogging on Blog Spot. I mean, I am but it won't show up there anymore. I now post on my own web-site www.h2h-entertainment.com/blog.

I am mostly doing this post because it's a test to see how it works.

I also found out that Facebook will not let me import my blog via my own web site, so I'll just post to my provide whenever I update it.

Street Meat

I work beside the Budget Motel. This particular motel is used for drug deals and rooms can be rented by the day, week, hour or minute and is mostly used by those in the "oldest" profession.

Last summer, someone parked a sausage cart in a corner of the parking lot and some of my co-workers would sometimes go over and get lunch.

Today, one of the my co-workers said to me, "I got one of those sausages last year and guess what I found?

I smiled slightly, looked as innocent as I could manage and said, "A man attached to it?'

Blush with Fame

The Perfect Man and I went to the premier of the Shooter with Mark Wahlberg last night. Well, we weren't with Mark Wahlberg, but he was in the movie. The premier was sponsored by Y108 and CH Television. Bob Cowan (from CH Morning Live) sat behind us. The Perfect Man introduced himself to Bob Cowan because he was an engineer at CH TV for 20 years and he had a question for Bob about Connie Smith. After his question was answered, we had a very enjoyable chat with Bob. He is a very funny man and very quick on his feet (er...in his seat).

This morning, the Perfect Man and I were watching CH Morning Live and Bob sent a hello to the two of us.

Yeah, I'm taking it. I'm such a spotlight hound.......

'Scuse Me

I have discovered this thing called "Facebook". I will be back here soon.

H2H is Alive and Well and Living on the Web

My web site is up and running and I couldn't have done it without the help of The Perfect Man.

Please check it out and let me know what you think. Make sure you check out the photo gallery. You may be there.....

www.h2h-entertainment.com

KF See I Told You I Was Evil

I have a number of friends (and fellow improvisors) who claim to be evil. Let me tell you my tale:

The Perfect Man and I went to KFC the other night. We ordered a combo deal and told the counter clerk we didn't want the gravy that came with it.

As she was packing our order, she remembered what we had said and she turned to the window behind her and said, "I don't need no gravy".

We took our food and as we exited the building, I looked up at The Perfect Man and deadpan said, "And that is why she works here and I work at the place where she visits her children".

EVIL. I AM EVIL, I SAY!!!

Take Your Radio to Cuba

A couple of weeks ago, I registered with a local radio station, K-Lite FM, for a cash and trips contest.

Today they called my name at 9:00 am. One of my co-workers tracked me down in the training room, and another co-worker came and got me. I called the station and -- WHAM -- I won $102.90 (K-Lite is heard on 102.9).

The best part is I'm now qualified to win a trip to Cuba. The draw takes place on Monday morning at 8:15 am (I have a one in 21 chance of winning). I'll keep you posted!

As a side note -- I took my two co-workers out to lunch. Thanks guys!

As a second side note -- another of my co-workers actually won the trip (to the Dominican) last Monday.

You Say Potato

When I was in grade one, my parents bought a camping trailer. After school on a Friday, we packed up the car and we headed off for a fun-filled weekend of camping. I caught my first fish that weekend. On Sunday, we packed the car back up and headed home; exhausted, but happy.

My teacher had us all tell each other what we did on the weekend. When my turn arrived, this exchange took place (more or less):

Me: We took our new trailer [from Hamilton, Ontario, Canada] to California for the weekend.

Teacher: You took your trailer where?

Me: California.

Teacher: I don't think that's possible, Kimberly. California is too far away.

Me: No it's not. That's where we went.

The teacher allowed me to continue my tale and I told everyone about my fish.

She was perplexed though. Before that day, I was not generally known to tell "stories" so she called my mom. She asked my mom why on earth I would be insisting tha we had driven to California for the weekend. Mom started laughing hysterically.

"We didn't go to California for the weekend. We went to Caledonia."

No Smoking, Please

I quit smoking 9 years ago today.

Costco Efficient

The only way I can actually be sure to get a new bathing suit when I need one is to buy it at Costco. They don't have dressing rooms, so I don't have to go through the humiliation of looking at all my jiggly parts in huge mirrors, in bright glaring lights.

I get to try it on at home -- and then it's just too much trouble to take the damn thing back.

How Did Mom Get in My Mirror

Yesterday evening, The Perfect Man and I went to my mom and step-dad's place to help them out with some electrical problems they've been having. While there, we told them that we're taking them away to their favourite hotel in Niagara Falls in April. Mom immediately started stressing, "I don't know if we'll have enough money for the Casino by then." She must have said that no less than eight times while we were there.

After we left, it hit me. I'm just like that. I'm not as bad as her, but I do worry about things that might happen instead of just deciding to deal with them if they do.

I love it when a revelation like that hits. That's when I make my resolutions, instead of waiting until January 1st every year. So, from now on I resolve to try not to worry about things before they happen.

Thanks, Mom!

Sleeping With Elvis

There are only two "famous" people in this world that I ever really wanted to meet when I was growing up. One was real and the other was a character. The real person was Elvis Presley. The character is better left for another blog entry.

Elvis......wow. One of my first albums was Elvis Presley sings Flaming Star. Most of those songs never made it main stream and I can probably still sing every single one of them. And movies? I prayed just about every weekend that there would be an Elvis movie on at some point.

Then it happened. Oh my gosh! I could hardly contain my excitement. My brother and I were watching "Dialing for Dollars" on WKBW-TV out of Buffalo (as we did every day after school) and the host announced that the following week was ELVIS WEEK. I thought I was going to pee my pants.

I got ready. I had ten 60 minute tapes and my little portable tape recorder. You know the one; it has an external microphone on a three foot cord. Every day during Elvis week, I rushed home in time for the movie and I set the tape recorder up so the microphone was close to the speaker and I hit record. About 30 minutes later, I heard "click" and I got up and flipped the tape. 30 minutes after that, I heard "click again and I changed the tape.....and so on. I did that all week.

Then, every night at bedtime, I would pop one of those tapes into the player and I listened to it as I fell asleep. I knew all the movies so well that when I closed my eyes, I could picture the whole movie taking place. The only difference was that I was the one in the female lead. YUM!

So, I guess I kinda had television in my bedroom before it was cool to have one.

And just think; if I had known The Perfect Man then, with my inspiration and his know-how, we may just have been the first to invent the VCR.

What's Meatloaf Got To Do With It

The Perfect Man and I run karaoke at a local bar on Saturday nights. I have a good friend, Devlin, who likes to come out and lend his fantabulous voice to the chorus of other wanna-be stars.

A few weeks ago, it was a slow night so I started and round of karaoke roulette and Devlin partook. The rules are simple: the audience picks a disc number, then a track number and that's the song you sing. Devlin was lucky enough to get "Two Outa Three Ain't Bad" for his roulette turn. It's a song I hadn't heard in a very long time.

For the next several days, I heard Two Outa Three Ain't Bad on my radio station at work.

This past weekend, Devlin came out to karaoke again. This time he picked Tina Turner's "What's Love Got To Do With It" on his own.

I kid you not -- I heard it yesterday on the radio and then again today.

Devlin, I haven't heard CCR's "Proud Mary" in a while. How about you come out and sing it this weekend and we'll see what happens.

You Don't Say

Tina (seated on the left) told me that her daughter Irene (in the middle) was pregnant. My response was, "Oh my god. So is Crystal!" That's when The Perfect Man snapped this picture.

Of course, we had both been sworn to secrecy by our daughters.

Thank Who For What?

I heard one person say,
"That man deserved to die for the horrible things he did to all those people, but they shouldn't have hanged him. That was cruel."

And another,
"He was beligerent at the end and his captors taunted him. I wonder who started it?"

One more,
"I heard they had to execute him before his birthday so he wouldn't be too old to die."

And still another,
"Now that he's dead, they'll make him a saint".

My tongue hurts. It really, really hurts.